It’s tricky to decide whether to date your ex because of the love you have for him or her.
On one hand, you could think, Why not try again? On the other hand, you think to yourself, “There had to be a reason you split up in the first place.”
Right? Even if we’re absolutely in love, things arise from time to time that makes us realize we need to end our relationship.
Sometimes the break is permanent, and other times it’s only temporary, but it’s vital to strengthen our connection and give it a higher chance of long-term success.
Because the latter is occasionally the case, here are some questions you should ask yourself before you decide to get back together with your ex.
1. Have you given your breakup enough time to heal?
You’ll need some time to clean the cobwebs from your connection before you can see them properly.
Take the time to consider whether getting back together feels truly right, or if it just feels easy, given whatever combination of feelings and events led to the breakup and the bravery it required to walk away.
Your relationship isn’t a flash-sale discount sweater; if you and your ex are both determined to give it another shot, it will still be there when you make that decision together, with all of the knowledge and experience you’ve gained during your time apart.
2. Are we willing to come to an agreement?
Perhaps your marriage failed because one of you was a workaholic and the other felt overlooked as a result.
These are excellent examples of areas where compromise is required if the situation is to be salvaged.
3. Why did You end your relationship with your ex?
You don’t have to look into everything that could have led to your split. Why? Because the causes may easily be divided into two groups: internal and external situations or pressures. Infidelity, lack of compatibility, and apathy may be internal reasons for breaking up.
External factors, on the other hand, could include a family member’s rejection, geographical distance, or a lack of time to devote to the development of a good relationship.
4. Check to see if your problems are genuinely fixable.
So, you’re sure you miss your ex and desperately want them back. But there’s more to it. Were your reasons for breaking up genuinely justifiable? “Visible problems are easily remedied.
If you split up because a job sent one of you to a new city and long-distance communication was tough, the situation could be fixed if one or both of you are willing to make a sacrifice.” However, if you have significant differences in your values or future goals (such as whether or not to have children or where you want to reside), you will most likely remain incompatible in the future.
Regrettably, you may find yourself in the same situation as previously.
5. Do you yearn for the person or just their company?
It’s fine to admit that having a companion can be beneficial. There’s a lot of pressure out there to be in a relationship, especially when it seems like all of our friends are “cuffed,” and it’s sometimes easy to see oneself with the last person we dated.
Plus, no matter how horrible a relationship ended, there are little beautiful things strewn throughout it.
6. Consider how things have changed since you last saw each other.
Have any of you matured and been more responsible as a result of your experiences? Or have you both been moping around, wallowing in your misery? Reuniting will only work if both parties are willing to make genuine changes.
Take some time to consider the benefits and drawbacks of reuniting with your ex. There may be compelling reasons to do so, such as a desire to marry or have children with them. However, there may be good reasons not to do it, such as the fact that you haven’t found out what went wrong in the first place and are likely to repeat the same errors.
7. What have you learned since we’ve been apart?
You’re not trying to put them on the spot with this question; they don’t have to produce a degree or show proof of employment.
You simply want to know if their views on relationships have changed and if there has been any shift in attitude that could hinder a new connection with you.
“It could feel like a new relationship if both people have mature in their relationship abilities, Also, remember to share what you’ve learned, open communication is always beneficial.