Why A Man Will Never Value You, No Matter What You Do

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A lot of women cry in relationships with there man, in marriages, and even after failed relationships and marriages; you hear them say, “I cook, I clean, I sacrifice, I work myself out just to please you”. Some cry; “Am I not attractive anymore?” “Why doesn’t he love me anymore?” “What’s wrong with me?” “The other women out there, are they better than me?”

All these questions; we hear them, we hear your worries, we see your fears and all but the truth is, no matter what you do, no matter the sacrifices that you make for us, no matter how beautiful you are as a woman; we will never see your worth/value, not until we lose you.

Now, I know women will be asking themselves, “WHY?” So therefore it’s our duty to inform you about the reasons behind our (men’s) actions.

1. Emotionally Immature

Not everyone is emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship.

Most men are a typical example of this as they venture into relationships based on s*xual appeal, infatuation, societal pressure, peer pressure etc.

Emotionally immature men are usually unaware of their partners feelings and as such this makes them devalue the efforts of their partners. 

How to identify men who are Emotionally Immature.

a) They struggle to talk about their feelings.

b) They do not talk about the future.

c) They do not like to compromise.

d) They are indecisive; they do not know what they want.

e) They compare you with other women such as their mothers, sisters, friends both male and female, and including women on screen.

f) They are defensive at all times.

g) They are selfish and they hold grudges.

h) They are usually irresponsible with money; when this occurs and their partners try to advice them, they become defensive and label their partners “Nags”.

Maturity involves setting yourself free from the chains of your ego but when a man is not ready for that, the next point elaborates more on a man’s level of immaturity.

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2. Egotism

There is a saying that a “Typical African Man is not Romantic”; this statement only applies to ego-centric men who are blinded by their egos and are not willing to share and express their feelings.

A lot of men believe that their ego is self esteem but this is false because there is a thin line between ego and self-esteem.

There are many reasons a man can be egotistical, but the main reason is insecurity.

Insecurity: An insecure man pretends to be confident, so as to cover up his feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

He uses pride, crave for respect and other arts when in reality, he just hates himself for one reason or the other, or the fear of not being good enough for his partner.

How To Identify Egotistical Men

a) He talks about himself a lot.

b) He praises himself and every effort he makes in the relationship.

c) He doesn’t take or listen to your advice.

d) He criticizes you often despite your efforts.

e) He is jealous but pretends not to be.

Egotism can result to low self-esteem, so therefore you should watch out because this is another reason why he will never value his partner (You).

3. Low Self-esteem

In our efforts to hide behind our egos, another stage is revealed. Low self-esteem is characterized by lack of confidence and feeling bad for oneself. Low self-esteem is a feeling most men exhibit because they do not feel worthy of love.

These men pick up unnecessary fights in their relationship. They look for problems where there are no problems due to their insecurities. As a result of their insecurities and low self-esteem, these men keep deaf ears to the words of their partners; they find it so hard to admit to their wrongs so they blame it all on their partners.

Men with low self-esteem seek attention outside their relationship, they yearn for women to tell them how handsome they look, how cool they are, how great they dress etc and this makes them addicted to approval and validation from other women and not you; yes, not their girlfriends or wives.

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The question now is what about you? Well, he thinks he has to either prove to himself that he is worthy of love or he searches for evidence of it anywhere he can, that is why he reminds you of your countless flaws and his flawless perfection.

4. Fear

This comes with the fright of being vulnerable in a relationship.

Most men exhibit a form of self denial when it comes to expressing their feelings to their partners because they believe, think, feel or assume that their partners will take advantage of their feelings towards them.

An exposure of the truth is that men are in denial when they are trying to protect themselves by refusing to accept the truth about their feelings, emotions and love for their partners.

It is normal to have a short term denial of emotions at the first stage of the relationship but when it becomes a long term denial/fear, it becomes a problem in the relationship.

5. Family

Charity begins at home, remember? It is normal to give what you have and it is also normal not to be able to give what you don’t have and what you have no clue about.

Lots of people grew up in homes where love, emotions etc were not expressed by their parents and family members in general.

Some men grew up in unhappy homes, where their fathers treated their mothers badly, therefore, when most men who grew up in such homes find themselves in a relationship, they find it hard to express their feelings thereby devaluing and toturing their partners emotionally.

6. Peer Pressure

Peer pressure can be both negative and positive, it could be spoken and unspoken, but in general, negative peer pressure is usually stronger than the positive.

Therefore, peer pressure can affect a relationship in many ways.

In the bid of some men trying to prove their masculinity to their friends, most men tend to devalue their partners. In most cases, these men put efforts to impress their friends as they do not want to be seen as “weak romantic men”.

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As a matter of fact, most men cheat on their partners just to impress their friends so that they could continuously be seen and respected as “Bad boys” or “Players”.

These set of men always want to show off to their friends that they are the “Man of the house” or the “Man in the relationship”.

7. Females

The females in this context represent every woman; not just the other women. The females includes our mothers, sisters and female relatives as they are one of the solid reasons behind why a man will devalue his partner.

A lot of women in general want a romantic spouse/partner, but they find it upsetting when they see their sons, brothers, male friends being a perfect gentleman or romantic man to his partner.

Some mothers will think that a “spell” was casted on their sons, some sisters will see it that their brothers’ partner has too much “control” over them, and then the female friends and admirers will see the man as a “woman pleaser” and as such these women can be seen as the farmers that plant the unhealthy seeds of frigidness in the minds of these men, leading them to be emotionally unavailable to their partners.

In conclusion, if men can come to realize their flaws and try to work on them, it will help improve the way they treat their partners and as such, learn to value the love, emotions, efforts and feelings of their partners, no matter the challenges on the way.

You can drop your comments and views of your own opinion.

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